by Caesar Kalinowski
So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he had for her.
Editor: this post originally appeared at Caesar Kalinowski.
Tina and I have prayed for our son and two daughters’ potential spouses since they were little, little kids. Now Caesar and Christin, our two oldest, are happily married to amazing people. In both cases we felt God’s favor on that person and their budding relationships right away.
Is He The One?
I remember the first time we met our son-in-law Daniel. Tina and I asked each other, “Is he the one? I think he’s the guy we’ve been praying for all these years!” Turns out we were right. He’s a strong, yet gentle and Godly man, and a perfect partner for Christin.
It was pretty much the same way with our son and his beautiful wife Mari. They took a little longer to tie the knot, but our family loved her immediately. We kept praying for her over the years of their dating and courtship. Pretty cool.
Today we continue to pray for our youngest daughter Justine and her future spouse with great expectancy. God’s timing…
Here are seven blessings and reasons to pray for your child’s future spouse.
I want to give credit and thanks to author and old friend Jay Payleitner whose awesome book, 52 Things to Pray for Your Kids, helped me get my thoughts together on all of this.
- It begins to create a spot in your own heart for that future spouse.
Praying for someone you’ve never met may seem strange, yet this person is going to be a new son or daughter in your family for a lifetime. Start loving them now. Our relationships with our two new family members are close and warm and we love them deeply–and it feels like we’ve known them a lifetime.
- Knowing your own child’s personality and needs, you can pray specifically
asking God to both prepare their heart and their future spouse’s in unique ways. This isn’t just praying that they’ll find a spouse, this is praying the gospel over them and believing God has gone ahead of you in uniquely shaping their future together.
- Someday you’ll have the pleasure of telling your son or daughter’s spouse
that you have been praying specifically for them and their family for years. It is genuinely humbling to know this and it provides a deep and immediate bond between you.
- Praying these prayers together as parents, with your child,
helps to instill a sense of God’s sovereignty in them concerning their future and his plans for them. God cares about their yesterdays, todays and all of their tomorrows.
- Pray with your child for specific Godly qualities
to grow and mature in their hoped for spouse. This teaches them what to look for as they begin to date more seriously and consider a marriage partner for life. Discuss and pray with them about love, sex, friendship and marriage. These are important things in life that often go undiscussed with our children.
- Pray not only for the future spouse, but pray also for their family.
Remember, their family shapes them in profound ways and will also become part of your extended family. You’ll be blessed when all the juggling of life, holidays and hopefully grandkids is made easier by your love for them too.
- When you pray for your child to submit to and wait on God’s timing for marriage,
you take the pressure off of them in their dating relationships. We often told our children, “If this is ‘the one’ then there’s no need to rush into things. If this is God’s choice for you then you cannot mess this up. If it is not his perfect choice, then you certainly don’t want this relationship!”
Life Preparation = Discipleship
All of this helps you see your child as a person that you’re preparing for an abundant adult life. You’re not just praying that they’ll find a good husband or wife, you’re also preparing them for meaningful adult relationships. That sounds like discipleship to me 🙂
I’m sure there are a lot more ways to pray for your child and more benefits to be realized. Hopefully this is enough to encourage you to move forward in this area of parenting privilege.
If you have children and have not yet made it a regular rhythm to pray for their future spouses, the next best time to get started is now. No matter their age, God loves to hear your prayers for his little–or not so little– image bearers.
If you’ve been praying for your children’s future spouses, what blessings have you experienced?
Caesar Kalinowski is the author of the top selling book, The Gospel Primer. His latest books, Transformed and Small is Big, Slow is Fast came out in 2014 published by Zondervan.
He is one of the founding leaders of Soma Communities and currently serves as the Director of the GCM Collective, an organization that helps catalyze missional community multiplication across North America and around the world. He has been married to Tina, his high school sweetheart, for 32 years; they have three children, Caesar, Christin and Justine. He blogs at Caesar Kalinowski.